funny_and_hilarious.md

Robust Random Number Generator

int getRandomNumber() {
    return 4; // chosen by fair dice roll, guaranteed to be random
}

Greatest Lifesaving Comment

// 
// Dear maintainer:
// 
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
// 
// total_hours_wasted_here = 42
//

Definition of Programmer

Programmer is a teacher who takes the bloody challenge of tutoring the dumbest student and make him the smartest.

What is Algorithm?

Word used by programmers when they do not want to explain what they did.

Date of Tomorrow

Date getTomorrowDate(Date date){
    sleep(24*60*60);
    return getTimeOfDay(date);
}

God Is The Supreme Programmer

//When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing
//Now, God only knows

Commit before Leaving Job

#define if while

Dream Language-

Machine,

Pls make website,

all responsive like,
w/ BIG pictures ooo,
use my fav fonts,
also fancy menus with whooosh on,
load fast pls

Thanks,
Human

PS no bugs :)

You Know You're Nuked

When you Google an error and find GitHub issues instead of Stackoverflow answers.

So funny and hilarious that they may seem creepy!
collected from the web :P